It's been a long year, folks.
Last week, my one-year anniversary here in California came and went with little fanfare. I posted something on Facebook, and that was about it. I'm not ready to celebrate it yet, I guess.
I came here with a lot of hopes and dreams and a whole lot of fear and excitement, and this year has definitely kicked most of that in the teeth. It's been hard to come down from the dream of getting out here and working in the film industry to the reality of getting out here and working at the same thing I was doing unhappily in Chicago. I am still stuck in an office, still have no time to look for costuming work, and still feel the constant pressure of not enough money and the possibility of losing my job and being screwed at any moment.
There have been a few good things: I replaced Serenity with a car that actually runs. I have written more this year than I have managed to write over the previous two years. I have developed my independence a little. But, I still haven't made many friends out here, and spend most time alone. I'm okay with that, mostly, as it gives me time to write. But, it does get a little lonely from time to time.
This past year has been an exercise in stress and frustration, and I can only hope that 2012 will improve on that a little with some positive news and some hopeful gains. I will keep plugging away and hoping for better days.
1 comment:
This is something I am struggling with right now as I near the end of grad school. I just spent 6 1/2 years and over $100,000 for my 2 masters degrees and have started to come to the reality that with the economy being the way it is that I may end up in the same place I was before school. At first I was pretty bummed out by this, but instead I have tried to concentrate on how much I have grown through my schooling and how so many people don't take a chance on themselves but I have. You have too. I have several friends that moved to CA and it took them years to really establish themselves. Stick with it and I think you'll be writing a pretty different post next year!
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