Annoyed. . .

Yeah, so . . . I have another stupid, irritating crush.

Those of you who know me personally know that this happens a lot. This is the pattern of my love life: I meet a guy, get to know him, realize I like him and want to spend more time with him, pine artistically for a few months, and then try to forget about him. I do this every time. Those few that I actually approach or attempt to flirt with generally, to a man, get freaked out and eventually start avoiding me all together. I've learned over the years to never flirt or indicate my interest with more than just friendliness, as I seem to project boy repellant for 50 yards in every direction and have Needy Emotional Basketcase tatooed on the back of my head like my own personal sign of the beast. This, of course, means I've had five dates in five years, with nice guys I had zero chemistry with. However, I've found it's usually easier to be alone than to ask a guy out I actually have an emotional stake in, and then have to deal with the big ol' bucket of awkward when he turns me down. The last time I had to deal with this, the guy ended up engaged to my sister. Believe me, it's better I'm alone, as I clearly have no idea how to pick guys who have an outside chance of liking me.

Am I being a coward? Sure. Maybe this guy I currently have a crush on is shy, and doesn't think I'm interested in him, so he won't approach me. That is certainly what all my friends will say. But, I've been burned enough by being ignored by the guys I like that I think I'll just bury my head and wait for it to blow over. In a few months, a year at the outside, I'll be over it.

By then, I'll have a crush on an entirely new guy who will never know it.

Meanwhile, I'm off to pine artistically and invent conversations we could have over coffee.