Blush . . .

I'm embarking on something new, and it makes me nervous and kind of giggly, a little like a teenager. In most areas of my life I am resolutely a grownup: responsible, logical, serious. My sense of humor is dry and acerbic, and I am more likely to have an involved discussion over politics than I am to tell a joke. I have always been an adult, even when I was a kid; the one who never acted up, never got in trouble, never let loose or stepped out of line. I let myself be silly only around those I know well, and I seldom get giddy over anything. Feeling like a teenager, that crazy feeling that you're about to step off something high without having checked for the net first, that doesn't happen often; it didn't happen often even when I was a teenager.

That being said, this new possibility gives me butterflies, in the best way. It may not work out, it may crash and burn even before it really begins. But anything worth having is worth taking a chance for. And if it does work out, it just might be lovely.

I keep asking myself what I'm doing, my super-ego checking in with my id and making sure I know what I'm getting myself into. I don't, of course. One never truly does, at the outset. But I'm willing to step off the edge anyway, and I guess that's saying something;)