Friday, November 19, 2010

Black Swan . . .


Those who know me, know that when I was a girl I wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina. I yearned to buy used toe shoes and dance around my kitchen; I would lace my shoes in a criss-cross up my legs, and watch captivated anytime dancers came on TV. I loved ballet.

The closest I ever got to a dance studio was one day when I was seven or eight: we went into a studio near my school, and I sat and watched a class of girls even younger than me at the barre. My mom discussed the class fees with the teacher, and we promptly left. Nothing more was ever said of it; I understood that with seven people and no money, dance classes were a luxury we couldn't afford. So, I dreamed wistfully of dancing. By the time I started doing musical theatre, my brain seemed hardwired for clumsiness. I stumbled through choreography, learning steps slower than everyone else in a sort of antithesis to the dancer I had always wanted to be. I gave up the idea of ever being one of those graceful, willowy creatures I had always admired.

Still, there is a part of me that still yearns for that world, and anytime a ballet film comes out, I feel a draw. Natalie Portman does much of her own dancing for Black Swan: she spent close to a year preparing for the role in everything from workouts to dance training to diet. She lived the life of a ballerina to truly become one onscreen. Whether the film is wonderful or terrible, I think I will have to see it. No matter what my body says, ballet lives in my heart.

3 comments:

LibertyJBE said...

Oh! I love ballet too! Just FYI, you could always start as an adult. I take class once or twice a week and there are several ladies in my class who started in their 30s and 40s. But ballet is expensive, depending on where you go.

Congrats on your phone interview!!! Progress! Yay!

Jessica said...

I do believe I will have to go see this movie as well. Ballet has always been a part of my life. As the previous writer said, it's never too late to start. If you start when you are in California, it would give you a good place to meet people and make some friends.

Kimba said...

I will definately be seeing this, as well! I was the girl with the ballet/tap/jazz/figure skating/piano/acting lessons, and as an adult I always feel amazingly guilty about it. I've met SO many adults who said what you have...they weren't allowed...for whatever reason. It makes me sad that any child is denied those opportunities. I'm sorry.