I was talking to my BFF B last night, and I realized a few things:
-The stress of the move is making me forget how exciting it is.
-I am not staying positive enough.
-I have fought for everything I have ever gotten in my life, so I know I'm up to this challenge.
It's crazy how insidious stress can be: one day you're planning decorating schemes in the apartment you don't have yet, window shopping for paint and rugs, and the next day you're barely eating and sleeping. Problems build up until you feel bowed by the weight of them, and you have dark days that are difficult to trudge through. But, I know how important it is to keep my eye on the goal, and that staying positive, especially now, can help me get there. It's also important for me to remember all the wonderful things I'm grateful for right now, that are helping me get out there; seeing as it's Thanksgiving here in the States this week, this seems like a great time to remember gratitude;)
I'm grateful for all the people that are trying to help me find a job in LA right now. There are so many wonderful, selfless people using time they could be spending on themselves to contact people who might have a job for me out there. I feel very blessed by all those people.
I'm grateful to my family. It's no secret that I've been stressed to breaking point lately, and they have all listened to me rant and rave endlessly about all the details. They never tell me to shut up, amazingly.
Lastly, I'm grateful to the series of little epiphanies (and a few big ones) that have pushed me in this direction. Of course I'm scared about this chage, but I'm ready for it. I needed a few little kicks in the ass at first to make me realize I was just treading water in my own life, and it was time to start actually living. It's time now.
I know there are still uncertainties out there about all this, and I will continue to stress over them (who wouldn't!). But, I will also, I promise, remember to stay positive, because Mr. Good News is just around the corner;)