Customer Disservice . . .

Oh, Best Buy. You are really trying my sunny disposition. (that thud you just heard was my sister, reading this, falling on the floor laughing at the "sunny disposition" remark)

Just yesterday, I posted about my elation on my recent purchase: a tv. Eighteen months, and finally I get to watch my motherfucking movies on a screen that won't fit inside my medicine cabinet. Yes, I was seriously excited. I was only waiting for that email from Best Buy telling me "Your Order is Ready to Be Picked Up!" I was already having fantasies about me and my tv frolicking in fields of clover and sharing moonlit picnics where we discussed our dreams and what our kids would be named one day (Nathaniel and Superfly).

Then, around 1pm yesterday, I get an email from Best Buy. Not the one I'd been waiting for, mind you. No, this was like buying a new dress and getting your hair professionally done for a really important date and then finding out the guy has decided to join a Buddhist monastery and is leaving for Tibet 20 minutes before he was supposed to be picking you up.

"There was a problem with the billing for your order."

What? What the fuck? I specifically allocated that money for this purchase, swallowed my screaming terror at spending $300 in one place, and checked my bank balance multiple times to assure myself that yes, indeed, the money had been sent to Best Buy.

Well, yesterday, I got an education on how banks, and debit cards, and asshat companies really work.

So, when I made the purchase Friday, the money was authorized by my bank to go to Best Buy. A hold was placed on the amount (obviously Chase knows I would have spent it on chocolate and shoes otherwise), and that should have been that. In fact, Bet Buy collected the money for my Blueray player, since that was ready for pickup right away. But, my tv was being shipped to the store, so I decided to wait to pick everything up together.

Fast forward to Monday, when Best Buy tries to collect the rest of the money for the purchase, and they can't. Why? Because the authorization I gave to my bank for that money has expired, though the money still has a hold on it. There's my $300, sitting in bank limbo, untouchable. Chase could hold onto that motherfucker forever if they wanted. After the zombie apocalypse, the survivors great-great-grandkids could carbon date that sonovabitch to understand how their ancestors bought home electronics. In order for my money to be let out of bank jail, Best Buy has to send a fax--a fax! Yes, it's 2012, folks!--to my bank, and the bank will then release the funds. Then I have to call Best Buy back and reauthorize the fucking purchase.

By the way, I'm on the phone yesterday with Best Buy and Chase for two hours straightening all this out. Most of that time, needless to say, was spent on hold. Then, this morning I check my bank balance at 2am (shut up, I was awake), and the money is back! Yay! I can call Best Buy when I get to work. Except, at 5am, Best Buy sends me another MOTHERFUCKING EMAIL telling me "there was a problem with the billing of your order". Holycrapfuckyou. I call them at 5:30am, sitting in my car in my parking lot, and I get this woman who tells me I need to give her ANOTHER credit card for the purchase.

"No, no, no," I tell her. "I don't have another card. This is my debit card, attached to the bank account that just released the funds for this purchase. This is YOUR MISTAKE, and YOU NEED TO FIX THIS."

"Oh, well, the system won't let us reauthorize a purchase on the same card."

"I want to talk to your supervisor right now." I added a please. I'm not a complete asshole.

She puts me on hold for a while, and finally comes back and says, "Okay, my supervisor says its okay to use that card." There must be, literally, an entire novel in my file at this point, detailing all this, but whatever.

"Okay, so this takes care of it?" I ask.

"Well, the authorization takes 2 to 3 days."

Fuck me. "Are you telling me this might happen AGAIN?"

"Probably not, ma'am."

Motherfuckers.

On Thursday, supposedly, I should be able to pick up my tv. I'll make sure to post an update. At this point, my bandeleros are strapped on and I'm ready for anything.