Thursday, July 12, 2012

Wandering . . .

Someone very wise once told me that if something in your life takes from you without giving anything back, dump it and move forward. It's extremely good advice. I think we've all found ourselves in situations where something or someone we thought was important, even essential, is nothing more than a great drain on our self-worth, our happiness, and our very soul. But, cutting out that situation is often easier said than done.

People will often tell you, "If you hate your job, go do something else! If you're unhappy, do something that makes you happy!" Maybe they say that less in this economy. But, I still hear it. Yes, currently, I am unhappy. My work makes me feel ill when I wake up in the mornings, my hands shake. I count the hours and the minutes each day until I can walk out the door. It wasn't always this way; in the beginning it was great. But, things have changed, and for me those changes haven't been improvements. Though I've been studiously looking for something else, it's been three months, and I feel no closer to getting out of this situation and into a better one. I've started to have nightmares I have trouble shaking during the day, and my body is starting to pay the price for the constant stress.

Still, there are things I try to do to make up for the 9-5 stress during the week. The weekends are my creative haven, just for me to recharge my batteries. I am trying to get back into a writing headspace, thinking about branching out into some new craft projects I haven't attempted before, and trying to think of anything else I can do (cheaply) to grab some happy out of the gloom.

Soon, things will change. Something will come knocking, and I'll grab that with both hands and hold on tight to see where it takes me. Until then, I'll keep wandering and hoping and recharging when I can. I hope you can all do the same.

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