One Smart Cookie . . .

So, I got a car last night.

WHAT??? you're probably thinking. I know, I didn't exactly offer any warning, but that's because I didn't give myself any. I was driving to work yesterday, and about halfway to the office, my engine light goes on. I think something inside just snapped. I couldn't do it anymore. As much as I love Serenity, I just couldn't handle the constant stress of driving her. I got to the office safely (thank goodness), and immediately went online and found my next car.

As you can see from the above, I got a Smart! YAY!!! I really love this brand, and ever since they premiered them here in the States, I've been wishing I could get one, but fairly sure I could never afford it. Enter Carmax, and the very reasonably-priced 2009 Smart Pure that I purchased last night. Ta-dah!

A word about Carmax: if you are thinking about buying a new car and you don't have any interest in spending 6 hours haggling with slime-ball dealers who just want as much of your money as they can get, GO HERE. I got there a little before 4:30, and was on the road in my new car at 6:30. No haggling. No trickery. No slimeballs. Everybody was super-nice, my salesguy was awesome, and after signing my life away, they handed me the keys. If I ever need to get another car, I'm using Carmax again, hands down.

So, Serenity is retired to that nice car-farm in the sky, able to rest finally after her long years of service. And, Poubelle is born. Small, but mighty.

Rage sets in . . .

So, I'm still looking for a car.

I finally drove down to the dealership that had preapproved me, the dealership that claimed that they "finance everyone, no matter what!" I knew I couldn't be choosy about what car I ended up with; it had to meet certain criteria from a financing standpoint, but otherwise I just had to take whatever I could afford. One of the salesmen I've been talking to on the phone for the last few weeks was there, and he showed me a decent used car: not sexy, not exactly what I wanted, but okay and driveable. Then, we went back into the dealership and they started the financing process. And my "guaranteed preapproved we finance everyone" dealership? Yeah, not so much.

I feel like my credit can't really be that bad. Sure, I had a shitty job when I got here and I couldn't afford to pay more than rent and food for a few months. But, I'm back on track, on time payments for everything. I don't have any bankruptcies. No liens. No judgements against me. I make decent money. I'm not looking for an expensive car; at most, I'll be financing about $6,000. So, why is this impossible? I've tried everything I can think of, apart from begging a friend to be a cosigner (something I'm really uncomfortable with). It looks like I'm worse off than someone who's unemployed, declared bankruptcy twice and owes more on their house than it's worth. It's pretty frustrating, but I guess this is just one more learning experience.

Hell if I know what I'm supposed to be learning.

Idling . . .

Yesterday, Serenity stalled for the first time. It was pretty scary; the engine just quit and she started to roll backwards before I even knew what had happened. I was trying to step on the brakes and nothing was happening, and it took a few seconds for me to put her in park and catch my breath. I had to act cool then, and signal people around me with my hazards blinking, act like I could handle it and everything was fine. I popped the hood and put a quart of oil in the tank while a few guys tried to be helpful, standing around and saying I should probably take her in for a tune-up. I just laughed and said, "She needs a lot more than that." I felt like screaming and starting to cry, but I knew I couldn't do that. So I laughed it off, closed the hood, turned the key and prayed. She started up and I acted like I had known she would all along. I drove the rest of the way home. My hands shook for hours afterwards.

I know this is some kind of test from the universe, to see if I can handle it. Handle living here alone, being a real adult. I feel like there's somebody up there watching to see what I'll do, if I'll pass or if I'll just sit in the middle of the floor and cry. Sometimes I feel like that's been my whole life: being poor growing up, struggling with problems in my family, having a nervous breakdown, fighting again and again through everything and just having to persevere.

At times like these, I make myself remember how lucky I really am. I have a home. I have a job that pays the rent and buys food every week, and there are so many people who don't have that. I'm healthy, and Viola is healthy. I have friends and family who love me, even if they are far away. I have talents that some people don't have, and one day I might even make a living with them. I get to drink iced chai in the mornings.

I had a talk with Serenity on the way to work this morning. I told her that if she would just hang on a few more months, I would promise to pay better attention, and make sure to keep her full of oil in the future. I wouldn't yell or curse at her (which I never do anyway), but she had to just keep running a little longer. I hope she listened.

False Start . . .

I promised to blog about my car-buying experience. I guess I have to keep that promise, even though it didn't involve actual, you know, car buying.

So, since it's me, I did a lot of homework to prepare for this. I researched cars for reliability and fuel-efficiency, and looked at Edmunds.com and Kelly Blue Book for value. I looked at a LOT of dealer websites. I calculated how much car I could afford based on the down-payment I had, what I could expect for my trade-in, and what my interest rate for financing would probably be. I was nervous about the whole thing, so much so that my stomach was in knots from Friday night on. But, I was ready. I wasn't going to let a salesman walk all over me or try to trick me into spending more money.

Turns out I never got the chance to spend any money.

The first place I went to made it clear that it was pretty much impossible for me to get a car. No one would finance me. Here's the break down:

-I need a car that costs X

-A bank will only finance a car for me that is 2007 or newer

-No car that is that new costs X

Conclusion: I cannot get a car.

It's very frustrating (and scary) to be driving a car that is clearly unsafe, and have no other option open to me. Unless I decide to start stripping to save extra money fast (and let's face it: I would not be a successful stripper), I will have to drive Serenity for another six months at least before I can try this again. And, if she breaks down before then (which looks increasingly likely every day), I will be forced into a truly desperate position where I will end up with a beyond-shitty monthly payment, like the $400 a month the car dealership suggested this weekend.

I'm at the end of my tether with this situation, but there's little I can do but wait. And pray, every time I turn my key, that I will make it safely to my destination.

Legal!

I went to the DMV yesterday, and I am officially legal to drive around California now;) Technically, I was perfectly legal before; my IL Driver's License was still completely valid. But, it feels nice to know I'll be getting my California license in a few weeks.

I do need to say something about what I've learned from the experience:

1. Make an appointment. I'm not kidding. I was in and out in under 2 hours. People who hadn't made appointments had been sitting there when I arrrived, and some were still sitting there when I left.

2. Study the goddamned Rules of the Road book. Seriously. When I took the written test, everyone, with the exception of one other person ahead of me, failed the test. Everyone. It is not hard, people. I only got one question wrong, because I READ THE BOOK.

3. Don't overdo it on makeup and hair before you take your picture, or the DMV ladies behind the glass will roll their eyes and laugh at you. There was a girl before me who looked like she was going straight to a club after she left the DMV, and I could tell the women were not impressed. She also tried to give them a glamour shot, tilting her head and smiling in a "come hither" kinda way. To which the state employee, who had been sitting in her chair for probably six hours and was done with girls like this, snapped, "Look straight at the camera, lips together." She took two more shots before she was satisfied that the girl was following directions.

4. Follow directions. One kid was failed for checking his cell phone while he was waiting in line to have his test graded, since there are signs saying "no electronic devices" posted everywhere. The guy behind the window busted him, and made him take the test again.

All in all, I had a pretty smooth time of it, and I'm on to the next step: buying a car.

Dum, da dum dummmmmm.